Sunday, 30 December 2012


The human has been somewhat elusive of late and gives its excuse for this as "christmas" whatever that is. Whatever it is, it seems to entail frequent visits to "out". It often announces that it will be home all day at some point in the future but this rarely occurs and by the way I do not consider going to the vet together to be quality time especially as I was feeling quite well and not in need of medical attention.
This is quite annoying a it means I am left to rely on humans 2, 3 and 4 who, whilst friendly enough (except for no 2 who is dangerous and cannot be trusted), are not as quick on the uptake as no 1 human who is quite domesticated at this point, staring through the wall at it from another room being usually sufficient for any requirements to be attended to.
There are some indications however that "christmas" may soon be over so I am hopeful of more attention and a decent fur brush in the near future.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

On The Nature of the Arts

For some weeks now the human has been struggling with a painting of black birds under a bridge at night. This is an excellent example of the human tendency to make life difficult for themselves. Cats of course would never do this. It is also inconvenient for me as the human is unavailable for most of the day and although there is bubble wrap available in its studio this would  mean having to listen to its terrible music which it plays in there. I have also noticed that fur brushing has been decidedly lacklustre of late.

Cat art is, of course quite different from human art consisting as it does mainly of performance and happenings. In this respect of course we are, unlike humans, playing to our strengths. Appreciation of cat art among humans is, as you may know, generally low and they often regard it as somewhat controversial. 

I have noticed that the human was taking some photographs of its painting today which is encouraging as this is often a sign that it has given up trying to paint whatever it is. Usually there is a lull then before it starts trying to paint something else.  hopefully I will be able to get a decent fur brush before this happens.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Under the Sun

Today the human recited to me the following passage from its fat book:

"There are many today who use similar arguments, wishing that the heat of the civil commotions among us could be diverted into some war against our neighbours, fearing that those aberrant humours which now dominate the body politic would, if not decanted elsewhere, continue to maintain our troubles at fever pitch, finally entailing our complete collapse. And indeed a foreign war is a distemper much less harsh than a civil war: but I do not believe God would look favourably on so wicked an enterprise as our attacking and quarrelling with a neighbour simply for our own convenience"
Michel de Montaigne 1588

The human says this means there is nothing new under the sun. Personally I don't see why you would not want to fight with your neighbour as they are clearly going to be the most annoying to you, a case in point being the big tabby from next door who has given me nothing but trouble since I moved in here.  Since cats to not usually live in communities (unless compelled to due to having fell on hard times) civil war is not technically possible for us anyway.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

of horses and men

Earlier in the week I was prevented from returning to the house for 6 o'clock snacks by a visit from the doorstep humans (who aren't allowed inside the house). On this occasion they were also not allowed to have the outside light on and were unable to see to recite passages from their bible.

Never the less they persevered for some time until they discovered that the human did not consider humans the most important thing on earth and that further more this as a premise for a subjective and species centric system of moral philosophy was a danger to the planet. The doorstep humans were nonplussed by this and could hardly believe their ears and they went away.

After they had gone the human said they would need to stop using the inteligent design argument as they were flogging a dead horse. I am glad to say that I didn't see this horse as I understand them to be highly dangerous creatures. Flogging one on the doorstep is just the sort of ill thought out and negligent activity to which humans are prone.

Monday, 13 February 2012

Of cats and men

For some weeks now the human has been reading a fat book that it got from a library. today it was describing to me how the book tells of an ancient school of philosophy which says a humans mind is so far inferior to God's that whatever a human can imagine about god must necessarily be wrong. The human was confused by this since one of the things a human can imagine about god is that there is one - which must be wrong. the book hadn't mentioned this. I replied that if that was the case there was probably no need to get so uptight about it. The human agreed with this and fetched itself some of its awful tea stuff and we went up the garden and I had a wee in the green house on account of all the rain.

Cats as you may know do not have religion as a human would understand it since, not being a social species, there is no requirement in our culture for us to be nice to each other. However we do engage in certain spiritual activities which are traditional to us such as staring and the veneration of woollen garments.

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Never let a human talk you into something

This weekend the human and I did something which it said was called the big garden birdwatch for the RSPB. The rules of this activity turned out to be quite confusing. Apparrently sitting on the window sill is not appropriate even though this is the best vantage piont for viewing the feeders. likewise the roof of the bird table. Also I discovered that you dont need to catch the birds, just count them. I rarely count as I rarely need a number larger than one.

All in all it turned out not nearly as interesting as I had hoped. This is often the way with humans.

Thursday, 26 January 2012

More the thing

Now these are of more interest. As you can see these birds have exceptionally strong, long legs for their size and the legs, as I'm sure you are aware, are the choicest part. It would also indicate that they spend a good deal of time feeding on the ground which is also ideal.

A note of caution - the beaks as you can see are also very strong and dagger like. this implies to me that the ensuring the element of surprise will be vital in this new project of the Human's.

Unfortunately, and typically, the Human has negelected to include any background so I do not yet know where I can lay my hands on a quantity of these delightful looking creatures

Monday, 23 January 2012

This is all very well

The Humans have returned to their work and although this makes them grumpy, they have at least stopped negligently setting fires inside the house.

While it was off no 1 human went in its hut and played with some coloured dusty stuff which is not to be recommended as it get on your paws and makes you sneeze. the human seems inexplicably pleased with itself. Personally I dont see these putting meaty loaf on the table any time soon.