Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Communication

No. 1 human has  abandoned me. It disapeared two weeks ago without a word of explanation and hasn't been seen since. I have now given it up for dead and, as a consequence, have begun the difficult task of grooming No. 2 human for succession. Progress, however, is slow and I have had to empoly a lot of shouting to keep services running smoothly. Getting eye contact with with the human is difficult as it is in thrall to a small blue light creature which it holds and talks to and strokes with its finger. The creature talks back but in a language l am not able to decipher.

When left unattended the human tethers the creature to the wall with a wire, presumably to stop it wandering off. I am glad of this as I do not trust the creature and clearly neither does the human. Some times while tethered the creature calls out and the human comes and strokes it until it is happy again.

I am starting to become suspicious that the human may deliberately ignoring me since, despite being able to understand this highly cryptic blue light creature language, it is apparently unable to comprehend a simple set of quite clearly nuanced meows.




 

Friday, 5 June 2015

Over Commitment

The human tells me it has has pledged to do a random act of wildness every day in June. It has of course made very little effort towards this and, as usual, it has fallen to me to take up the slack. I have, therefore, spent the last four days stalking the inhabitants of the skirting board (please see my previous post 'Mythic Beasts' for more information on this species).

I was finally rewarded after many patient hours with a capture. As it was small, I ate it complete.

As a random wild act, I think you will agree, this can not be faulted. The human said I was a bad cat but I think it was secretly pleased. It is especially pleased that I didnt vomit it up anywhere, or so it thinks...

Monday, 13 May 2013

Sitting about on the ceiling

The human says it has been practising its 3 point perspective. I hope, reader, you do not think this is our house. I would never allow such practices as you know. I dont know how the human came to be on the ceiling of this building, but however it was, it would have been better employed taking steps to have this kind of thing stopped than sitting about on the ceiling doing pictures.

By the way I saw the human cheating and using tracing paper. It knows nothing of 3 point perspective as anyone who has watched a human try to catch a mouse will know.